ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize