Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
