He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
whose ass print is on the piano?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
