6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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