Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
