You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
