so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
