The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
