We need to rekindle our bromance
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
