At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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