I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
