I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
