i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
