Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
did i just pee glitter
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
