one word: firstdatebathroomanal
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
