you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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