Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
