so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
