Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
