I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
