Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(216): View more from Ohio

Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?

(1-216): View more from Ohio

Lol no its called college

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(563): View more from Iowa

Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag

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(859): View more from Kentucky

It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.

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(614): View more from Ohio

You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.

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(207): View more from Maine

Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.

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(512): View more from Texas

Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.

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(512): View more from Texas

I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.

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