Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
