:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
pray to the hookup gods
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
