I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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