Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
