Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
