I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
