All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
