all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
