why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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