i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
