Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize