ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
