I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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