A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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