i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize
