Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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