Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
