I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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