I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize