I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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