Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
