just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
