also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
