And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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