so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
