he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
