oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
