Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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