wake up i wanna do it froggy style
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm just crazy horny about you
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
