So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Randomize
