I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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