Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
