the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
