Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
