If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
