i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
