i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
