im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
