PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
