i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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