Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
