You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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