.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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