Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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