that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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