I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
