BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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